Mediate This!

Division of a Marital Home: Know How It Works Or Else This Happens...

March 11, 2022 Matthew Brickman, Sydney Mitchell Season 1 Episode 49
Mediate This!
Division of a Marital Home: Know How It Works Or Else This Happens...
Show Notes Transcript

So you're getting a divorce. Do you know what will happen to your property? Don't just wing it. If you are going through a breakup you need to know how division of one or more marital homes works or you may have unexpected results. Matthew Brickman and Sydney Mitchell answer your most frequently asked questions about divorce as they go over several key points:

  • Assume nothing.
  • Know who you are before you get married. 
  • Know who you're getting married to. 
  • Know the laws and statutes in the state you live in.
  • Don't take advice from anyone who isn't a legal professional in the state in which you're getting married and living in.

If you have a matter, disagreement, or dispute you need professional help with then visit iMediate.com - Email mbrickman@ichatmediation or Call (877) 822-1479

Matthew Brickman is a Florida Supreme Court certified family and appellate mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. But what makes him qualified to speak on the subject of conflict resolution is his own personal experience with divorce.

Download Matthew's book on iTunes for FREE:
You're Not the Only One - The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution

Matthew Brickman
President iMediate Inc.
Mediator 20836CFA
iMediateInc.com

Sydney Mitchell:

Hi, my name is Sydney Mitchell.

Matthew Brickman:

Hi, I'm Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This! Podcast where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.

Sydney Mitchell:

Hey everybody. We're so glad that you're here listening today. I'm sitting here with Matthew and today we are gonna dive to talk about how to divide a marital home. Right now. We've got the mediation agreement in front of us. We're at , four . So Matthew, if you wanna just kind of introduce this whole process of, dividing a marital home, where does it all start? I'm sure our listeners have lots of questions and I'm gonna do my best to, to chime in , chime in as many of those as I can as I, I can. So,

Matthew Brickman:

So Cindy , you and I , um , and I'm sure if the listeners have been listening for a while , I know that we had specific questions on a home in the past, but I want to go a little bit deeper in this overall , um, um , section of the mediation agreement. And so generally what we do in here is the first thing that we do is we actually put the address of the home. We've gotta say, Hey, this is the home. Now we may have subsections here. So like, we may have a marital home that we may have a marital vacation home. We may have time share . We may even have just marital property because it could just be a piece land. Um, and I've had that , uh, often as well. Um, so each different piece, like if there's a marital home, if there's a marital rental home, like I had , I had one recently where they had like four rental properties. So we had, so what we did is we changed and, and they didn't live in any of 'em . So we actually actually changed the section to say, is that a marital home? It was marital property, one marital property, two marital property three. Um, but this is where we talk about real property. So we would put the address in here. So the property located at wherever it is, is the marital home or the marital property of the parties. Um, so if the parties want to sell the home, well, then we'll put, okay, the marital home will be listed for sale and we'll put a sale date. So, you know, what we don't wanna do is just leave everything open ended , right? We don't wanna say, okay, the parties are gonna sell the home. Okay. When like, when wife may wanna sell it immediately, the husband may be like, I'm just gonna drag the process out forever. Right? And so we put, okay , the marital home shall be listed and we put a date

Sydney Mitchell:

And that's a date that the two of them to , I mean , And negotiate, it could be within six months, it could be within two years, it's up to ,

Matthew Brickman:

It could be. And sometimes we put within 24 hours, I mean, we've even put like, it's going to be listed immediately. Now I've had a couple occasions, not that many where they wanted to do buy owner . Okay. So we build that in. Okay. Because, you know, think, think of it like this. When I, when I tell people about this section, I think I , I I'd preface it with think of it. Like you are going to a restaurant to order a hamburger. Okay. You would tell the waitress, I would like a burger. What is, what is the next logical question? She's going to ask you? How do you want it cooked? Well, what's the next logical question? What do you want on it? The next logical question is what do you want with it? Right. So we build this out the same thing. Okay, here's your home. Okay. We're gonna sell it. Okay. When are we gonna sell it? Who is going to sell it? What's the price going to be? And so, so sometimes what we'll do is we'll put, okay, it's gonna be listed by a licensed real estate agent. Um, and we put a date. Sometimes we'll actually name the real estate agent. Because like, you know, if, if they're look , if they're already arguing and can't , and like, you know, she wants to use his or hers, he wants to use his. And it's like, they're never gonna great . Then sometimes it's like, okay, I've done this so many ways where the parties are like, Matthew, you pick, okay. Or me , if they have attorneys, maybe one of the attorneys be like, oh, I've used this real estate agent in the past . Really good. They know the area so they can

Sydney Mitchell:

Just refer somebody completely different than Neith.

Matthew Brickman:

S yeah. Now I've even done it. It's crazy where I've done it. Where we put in the agreement, the husband shut shoes , his real estate agent and the wife shut shoes . Her real agent, those two real estate agents are gonna get together. And they're gonna pick the agent. That's actually going to list the home. Oh my gosh. I know . I know. Oh yeah. I mean, sometimes they

Sydney Mitchell:

Don't know what they're in for.

Matthew Brickman:

No, no. So , so again, but we look, we've gotta figure this out because look, I'm here to album them , negotiate eight , to get them through this. I don't wanna leave them dangling. Right. And so we think of all the different pieces. Um, so first off, when is it gonna be listed? Who's listing it. Then we get to , okay , well, how much? So if they're listing it themselves, that's where we will put in the agreement, like the listing price. But here's where then we do side agreements and we reference the side agreement because keep in mind, this is a , uh, this becomes a public record, right? Once , once this filed is public record, let's say, for example, that we put in here, okay. The homes, the gonna be listed for $600,000. If it doesn't sell in 30 days, the parties are gonna reduce it by 3%. If it still doesn't sell 30 days after that, they're gonna reduce it another 3%. If it still doesn't sell this Sidney , if I wanted to buy their house and I could go pull this record, I would sit and wait and wait, and wait, is that 3% and 3% less than three per right. So we don't want the general public to know this , but the parties have arranged like how they want to expeditiously, like, okay, we're gonna lower the price. If it doesn't sell at this price, because maybe they're out-priced in themselves. Right. But we do a con side agreement. We reference the side agreement, but that doesn't get filed with the court. Um, so at least the parties have a path to settlement, right? And so now, if there's a licensed real estate agent, we're gonna , we're simply gonna put, it's gonna be sold at fair market . You , because you know that the li we know that a licensed real estate agent is gonna try to sell the home for the most they can, because the more they sell it, the more, the bigger the commission is. Right. So if, if it's gonna be done by a licensed real estate agent, then we generally put sold at fair market value.

Sydney Mitchell:

And what I've seen happen a lot of times , um, this is kind of the other direction. So , uh , if the couple decides they wanna sell the home, obviously if they're going down this route, if, if they decide that one party is gonna remain in the home and the other person is gonna move out, is there any opportunity, you know, is there any , um, is there anything being split there or what does that process look like?

Matthew Brickman:

So, so what that process looks like , um, it looks two D two different ways. Okay . One way it looks like is let's say for example, that the , um, husband wants to sell the home, but let's say that the wife says, no, I wanna stay in the home. Is the only home the children know, I , I'm not selling this house.

Sydney Mitchell:

I just , I feel that this is what I observ observed in my family, you know, in the divorces, in my immediate parents, I've never like one of the, you know, my parent has always remained in the home. And so that's why I ask I'm thinking, okay, well, you know , maybe this situation is happening pretty

Matthew Brickman:

Often. It , yeah . Especi

Sydney Mitchell:

With children in consideration.

Matthew Brickman:

Yeah. Yeah. It happens a lot. Now there's something , um, that a party can file, which is called a partition action, which gives the court, the authority to sell a home. So let's say for example, going back, I , I , it mediation last week where the , uh , wife wanted to keep the home, the husband filed a partition action. Um, they could not agree in mediation on what to do with the home. He wanted to sell it. She wanted to keep it. He filed a partition action, which means if they can't figure it out. And it goes in front of judge, the judge will set , will force to sell the home too bad . It's getting sold . They , you know , the husband, you know, and , and , and she doesn't have to agree to the partition action . If he files for partition, home's sold. Now, sometimes what we'll do is we'll say, okay, look, wife wants to keep it. And so if we scroll down here, here's the paragraph that says if possible, either the husband or the wife, whoever wants it, we'll refinance. So let's say for , let's go back to this mediation I had the other day. Husband says, I want the home sold wife says, no, no, no. I'm keeping the home. Okay . All right , fine. So, you know what, here's what we'll do. Wife, you will have X amount of days. And sometimes you, so Sydney with this section, we do this. Um , I, I usually do it like this . The wife will apply to refinance within X amount of days. So, because once she applies, it's really up to the bank, how long this process takes. Right. But we will put that they must close no later then . And usually we usually parties will say 90 days, three months. Okay . So maybe in this section, it says the wife shall apply to refinance within seven days of executing the agreement, the existing mortgage into her name. So the husband has no further liability, therefore, right? So let's say that the husband and wife are both on the, no , they bought it during the marriage. They're both, you know, they're both on the deed. And so she wants to keep the home. Well, the only way she can keep the home is get him off of the home. And so that means that she's gotta apply to refinance so fine. We'll give her the opportunity. The husband says fine. She can have the opportunity. Now, sometimes like this mediation I had last week and everybody knew she was not gonna qualify. She didn't make enough money and had too much debt. Her income debt ratio was upside down. She did make enough. And, and, and she even said, without the alimony that I want and child support that I want, I can't afford the home, but I want the home, but you can't afford the home. And we ran the child support and she's like, well, that's not enough. Well, but the child support is this . It's a statutory number, didn't matter. And so, and so instead of, instead of arguing, husband said, fine, you know what? I'll give you 90 days to refinance. If you cannot obtain a refinance and pay me my equity out of the home, then the home is sold. Now. Sometimes what we'll do is the husband wants to keep it . And the wife wants to keep it. They both want it. So then is the , like the ultimate game of chicken. Okay . Who can go first? So one of 'em may say, okay , fine, Matthew, you've got 90 days to refinance Matthew. If you aren't able to obtain a refinance, well then Sydney , now it's your turn. You will have night days. So, and we build this all out that says, look, I've gotta keep you in the loop. I've gotta give you documents. And within X amount of days of me being, finding out that I've been denied a refinance, I have to give you the documents. And now you apply with an X amount of days, and you've got X amount of days to close. So fine. I get the opportunity. Oh, okay. I can't get it. Now you have the opportunity. And we build this all out that if you are denied, then the home is sold. So if I I'm denied and you're denied and neither of us can keep this home, but we both want this home, but we can't keep it. Well, then fine. Then the home is sold. And so we , you know, it doesn't matter what the scenario is, you know, I'm there to help structure what they want with their property. Whether one wants to keep it. The other one wants to keep it. They both wanna keep it. Or if we're going back to oh 7 0 8 0 9 , nobody wanted the home. Like, I don't want, like, you know, the market crashed everything's upside down. And it was like, can we short sell it ? So we, neither of us pay any of the liability associated with the home. Um, one of the problems of course, that , um, is there is okay, well, while the home is being listed for sale, or while a party is applying for refinance, who's paying for everything. Who's paying the mortgage, who's paying the property tax, the HOA, who's paying the utilities. Uh , um , and so that, that happens lots of different ways. You know, maybe the husband is the only one with the income, or maybe the wife's the only with the income and they've historically paid it. So if they've historically paid it, maybe they will continue to pay it. If they're both in the home, I've had it where they're splitting everything equally. Um , maybe if , if , you know, in lieu of alimony , um, they will pay the mortgage and the other person will then refinance and they'll be able to stay in the home. And it's for X amount of years in lieu of alimony. I mean , it all depends. So depends on maybe some of the other negotiated pieces of who's paying for things either while it's being refind or while it's being , um , sold.

Sydney Mitchell:

I was gonna say, what are, what is most, so when a home is being sold, how do you see this most often working out? And then if a party is , um , reapplying , um , or applying to refinance, how does it normally play out? What is , what are some of the most common way that you see this being handled as far as who's paying for what

Matthew Brickman:

There is nothing common. Um, because I mean, it it's , it's so much of it depends on who's been paying it historically who's in the home. Um, maybe both of them are still in the home. I mean, there is no typical. I mean, it, it really is a case by case basis.

Sydney Mitchell:

Is there any specific way that you would advise somebody to go about negotiating that aspect of getting rid of the home and if not?

Matthew Brickman:

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know what I was saying ?

Sydney Mitchell:

Anything , keep in mind when you're approaching, you know, working this out.

Matthew Brickman:

So number one, there has to be a reality check. Like, look, it is a building. I know people are love their homes. They're tied to their homes, they're neighborhoods, schools, and everything. It's a building. And look, we're, we're more tied to our homes than our kids are. We, we will say that our kids are people believe that their kids are look, kids, kids really are resilient. They move them to a different neighborhood. They'll adapt. This

Sydney Mitchell:

Is that I move, I think every two years, my whole life. So

Matthew Brickman:

Yeah, I mean, you know , it's a home , but now here's the other thing. Here's the other thing, moms and dads, husbands and wives ex-husbands and ex-wives, you really want to be cash poor , where you are paying so much for a home that you just absolutely had to have, that you can't provide in other ways for your children, but Ooh , but you got home and I've seen this where they have, they they've strapped themselves so much to where then, sorry, honey, can't go to Disney. Sorry, can't play an extracurricular. Sorry. Can't go on vacation. Sorry. I can't sorry where we , we got a really skim down Christmas or a birthday because I've just tapped out because you've over extended yourself on a home that

Sydney Mitchell:

That's such a great point . You

Matthew Brickman:

Can't afford. And so you, and so really, you know, again, it goes back to understand the power of the court have a realistic expectation. Do your homework find out like prior to mediation, go find now talk to a mortgage broker and say, look, here's my income. Here's my debt. Could I potentially refinance? I had , I had a mediation recently where the mortgage itself, the husband could make, he wanted to keep the home, the mortgage itself. It could, but to pull out the equity that he would owe the wife , which would be a second mortgage with the mortgage plus the second mortgage, he couldn't afford both. And, and , and there was no other source. It's not like he could give her extra money out of a retirement account or had cash sitting around. He had to get it out of the home. He had to refinance it and get a second mortgage. But with the first mortgage and what the second mortgage would be, well , he couldn't afford it then.

Sydney Mitchell:

Right.

Matthew Brickman:

And it's like, okay. So you know, you , it's a house. I understand. People's love theirs. Like right now, my wife and I moved last year. I love my house. Now I don't have little kids anymore . So you know what, my wife and I, this is our, this is our final house. We're not going anywhere. This is our forever home. But so many boomy people , it's not your forever home . It's the first or second of maybe many . Right. And you know, so again, you know , just don't, don't be what they call house poor , where you're so strapped to your house that you can't provide in all other ways for your children here . Here's, here's another one I see. So strapped in support that you can't even contribute. Not that you're going to fund it, but you don't even have money to contribute towards maybe your children's college education. Like, Ooh , you gave 'em a home, but you did not set them up for, okay. Now they can go to college and now be self-sufficient. Nope. You're so strapped going, you know, penny to penny nickel to nickel paycheck, to paycheck. I mean like, and here's the other thing, Sidney I've seen it where, you know, the parties have been separated. Maybe one spouse has been carrying all of it and they are living. So paychecked to paycheck, house poor that it creates such an immense pressure and stress on them that they are no good to their children. They're always snapping, yelling short because they're so stressed because they're trying to hold onto an asset that they can't afford for the children.

Sydney Mitchell:

Yeah.

Matthew Brickman:

That doesn't make any sense. Like you're not,

Sydney Mitchell:

That's so real.

Matthew Brickman:

Yeah. And it's like, it's a house it's like, I would rather have less stress be there for my kids. Be able to , to make the special moments, do the memories and have a place than to have a big home home that then we can't go anywhere. Do anything make any memories? And I'm always stressed out and yelling at him in our home. Oh , but I have a home. So, you know, as a mediator, as an outside person, a see , and here's these things all the time, the , this is the advice, these are the things that I deal with. Then I'd be like, you know, do your homework. Maybe you can't afford it. Great. Buy the other person out, hold onto the home, have it for your kids. Great. That's awesome. But not everybody can,

Sydney Mitchell:

Right? No , that's such a great , that's a

Matthew Brickman:

Great point. As we set this all up, let's say, for example, that maybe husbands in the home or the wife's in the home and the other one, right . So we have this phrase here called exclusive use in possession. Have you ever heard of this phrase?

Sydney Mitchell:

I haven't. I read that here and I was actually gonna ask you about it. Yeah.

Matthew Brickman:

So what this means is this let's say for example, that you and I have a home, okay . I'm a move out and I'm constantly coming in. I'm constantly coming back. Now we're separated. We don't have legal separation, but I'm out of the home. I have an apartment you're there with the kids. And I just keep coming back. I just keep coming back and you're going, he's taking stuff. Things are disappearing . Like I'm taking assets, right? Or may , maybe, maybe it's an abusive relationship. And both, both the husband and wife are there. We've got, okay, the wife is leaving or vacating the home or the husband's gonna vacate the home. And the, for the husband is gonna have exclusive use in possession of the home. What that means is at that point, once somebody has been granted either by agreement or court order, if they've gone in front of a judge and a judge, maybe a temporary relief has said, okay, I'm granting SI temporary exclusive use possession of the home. What that means is the other parent is not. Or the other party, whether their parent or spouse is not allowed to come in the house at that point, once you've been granted exclusives possession, generally you can, you can change the locks. You can change the security code. Absolutely. You have been granted exclusive use and possession. Now when two people are both in the home, they've agreed to sell the home. They're both gonna live there until the home is sold. Nobody has exclusive use of possession. Um, sometimes we'll do exclusive use of possession at the time of executing the document. Maybe both of them are already separated or sometimes we'll do exclusive possession at the time of disillusion when officially divorced. Then one of the two parties will have exclusive use in possession.

Sydney Mitchell:

Who is it? That, that technically grants that to one of the parties.

Matthew Brickman:

So it will be the other party or it'll be the judge.

Sydney Mitchell:

Okay.

Matthew Brickman:

So like, if it was me and you, I would say, okay, fine , I'm fine. SI can have exclusive use possession. Are you like, no , Matthew can have exclusive use possession if neither of us can agree on it, then find a judge. Will that say no , I'm granting Sid . And the kids exclusive use possession in the home, Matthew get out.

Sydney Mitchell:

And they just make that decision based on wellbeing. And I know everyone's, you know, circumstances are a bit differently, D bit different, but

Matthew Brickman:

Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it depends on the , yeah. I mean, it is very situational. Um, and so , um, now usually hand in hand with that is the execution of a quick claim deed. So if it is a marital piece of property, odds are both. The husband and wife are on the deed. Um, a lot of people say, oh, well, I'm not giving them a deed until I get my money, because then I'm gonna lose my equity in the home. No, that's not true. Um, oh, here's something else. Sydney in Florida. Um, I had a , I had a mediation last year. It was November of last year. It was an abusive relationship, but the wife stayed. She refused to leave. And when we got to mediation , um, when we got to mediation , um , and they , they were, they were not represented by counsel . So when they got to mediation, you know, she's, you know, and I they're in separate rooms cuz there was a no contact order. So they're with me separate. I come to find out that she talked to a girlfriend who lived in New York that said, if you move out, you've abandoned the property in you don't get your 50%. So she stayed in an abusive relationship because she didn't wanna lose her 50% equity in the home . Wow. That's not how it is in Florida. Like there's no abandonment.

Sydney Mitchell:

This is why . Yeah .

Matthew Brickman:

And so , and so she was like, I could have left , well , not flowing along . Like she's talking to a girlfriend in another state with different law . And her girlfriend was like, oh, when I, oh , you know, in New York. And so she thought, oh, that's just how it is. Like New York, Florida, California. Like we're all the same. No , we're not the same. Know the laws in your state, get some legal advice, find out the laws in your there's no abandonment. So she could have left, protective, gone somewhere else. And now we're getting divorced and she still get her 50% marital interest in the home.

Sydney Mitchell:

Yeah. I feel like one of the prime, like just to our listeners, if you've been listening for a while , I feel like that is if we had to take like five points of advice from the entire podcast ask , I feel like that knowing the laws in your state would be like at the very top of the list. Cause I just,

Matthew Brickman:

We , whether it's legal separation or divorce, whether it's abandonment, whether it's 50, 50 child time or your time sharing or whether they use terms, custody and visitation, whether there's a cooling off period, like know the laws in your state.

Sydney Mitchell:

Yep . Which

Matthew Brickman:

Is why.

Sydney Mitchell:

And so if you haven't heard us say that yet, you're gonna keep hearing us say because it is so, so important to this conversation. Well,

Matthew Brickman:

And as a mediator, I can't give you legal advice. I don't give legal advice, which is why, as you know, about 20% of my business is now out pro se, which means there's no attorneys involved. I even have law firms that send me clients that can't afford to hire attorneys that like go to Matthew, he'll take you through the process. And so the , and so when I give them their paperwork, Sydney , what I give them is I send them the PDF of chapter 61 of Florida statutes in Florida's chapter 61. I, you know, so in whatever state you're in go Google , family, law, Kentucky, family law statute , Texas, get the statute , read it. That's what the judges and the attorneys have to follow. Anyway, those are the laws in your particular state . So what I do with people that don't have attorneys and I tell 'em, I, I am not giving you legal advice cannot give you legal advice. Forbid give you legal advice. So I give them chapter 61. I'm like, wait, it can't print it as like 90 pages. Don't print it out. Just let's a PDF, but you can keyword it. You can go, okay. I wanna know about alimony, keyword , alimony. It'll highlight everywhere in the PDF. In the , in the statute where it talks about alimony, know the laws in your state, what does it say for child support, time sharing , equitable distribution. Yeah . Key word it, know the laws in your state. So going back to this quick claim deed, a lot of people like, look, I'm not giving you a deed until I get my equitable distribution outta the home . So let's say for example, if the husband owes the wife $50,000, well, so she's not turning over, quit claiming going. Here's the interest in the home that I have until I get my money. And so usually what we'll do is we'll do a paragraph in here that says, okay, you know , um , you know, simultaneously, you know, husband's gonna pay the wife or what we'll put is at the closing table, cuz sometimes have to refinance or if the home is sold and they're splitting 50 50, if the home's sold, well, then they're doing the quick claim deed whenever the bank or the real estate agent or the mortgage broker, whoever requires it. When it's done, we'll put in here that the parties are both gonna cooperate with executing all the documents to list and sell the property with in the timeframe that is required or requested by the lending institution, the mortgage broker, the real estate agent, we list everybody. Right. Um, sometimes though what'll happen is , um, maybe an attorney will hold the quick claim deed in their trust until the other party then pays. So they execute it . Now, like I had one recently where the husband was a boat captain , uh , over off of , uh, where was he south America? I mean , sorry, not , not south America , uh , South Africa. And he had flown back to the states. He was actually here. And so even though we did a very , he was local to see his kids and whatnot for the holidays. And so what they did was he actually, since he was here just executed a quick claim de it was so much easier than trying to mail the document to a ship and, you know, overseas and whatnot . And so they actually, he actually did it and in his attorney held it until the refinance went through and then the attorney would then released it. Um, you know, that way people are protected, you know, for, you know, turning things over before they're actually paid. Um , and so , um, the other thing that we do sometimes , um , is we'll actually put in here the actual , um, uh , lot and the actual legal description of the property itself. Um, sometimes we help with that depending on, I mean, gosh, I , I mean, I think it's, and oh at least five years since I've had to do that, like, because we haven't had any issues, but back in oh 7 0 8 0 9 , when there were a lot of foreclosures and short sales, it, it expedited the process. If we got the actual legal description, didn't just put the address, but put the legal description in the , uh , mediated settlement agreement. It just helped with , uh, with, you know, all the process because then the parties weren't having to go and look when they needed it for documents to sign. And so sometimes we put that in here. Um, but that's, that's generally how we divide up marital property and whether it's a home, whether it is , um , a rental property now with a rental property, it's a little bit different because let's say for example, the part , you know, like one of the parties is collecting rent, right. What we have to put in here, like, okay, well what are we doing with the rent until, well, okay. So like if the husband's collecting the rent, he would then be responsible to pay the mortgage, the property taxes, the insurance, the HOA, or whatever, and anything left over any net proceeds will be split 50 50 .

Sydney Mitchell:

No , that makes total sense. Matthew, thank you for all of this insight. I think it's so super helpful for those, whether they're in the process of going through a divorce or even just considering it. I mean, one of the things that we've talked about since the beginning of this podcast is, you know, this being, you know, part of the reason that we do it is just giving people an awareness is okay, if this is a decision that you move forward with, you know, whether anyone believes it's right, or these are the things that you're gonna have to work through and understand well, and, and the processes that you're gonna have to follow. And so , um , every time we , every time we , we chat Matthew, I just learned so much and , uh , there's a lot to learn. Um , but I think a lot of those, those initial conflict resolution principles in the beginning make this entire process way easier.

Matthew Brickman:

Yeah. And with those, you know, the principles, as we've talked about, about feeling dismissed, dis valued, you know, what , what causes conflict and then about creating value, not just claiming value. It , it , it doesn't matter whether it's time sharing . It doesn't matter whether it's a car, a home, you know, it's about getting creative and creating an agreement that you can live with, but understanding, always understanding what the laws are and the power of the court that gives you a good basis to negotiate.

Sydney Mitchell:

Excellent. Excellent. Matthew, thank you so much for your time. And I'm looking forward to our next conversation.

Speaker 3:

Occasionally Sydney and I will , will be releasing Q and a bonus episodes where we will answer your questions and give you a personal shout out .

Sydney Mitchell:

If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us@infoichatmediation.com that's info iChat I C H a T mediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shoutout, have your questions answered here on the show

Speaker 3:

For more information about my services, or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChat mediation virtual platform built by Cisco communications. Visit me online@imediatedinc.com . Call me at (561) 262-9121 toll free at 8 7 7 8 2 2 14 79 . Or email me M Brickman iChat mediation.com .