A listener writes in and asks, "Does the person who initiates a divorce bear any other advantage aside from that they may be better prepared?" Matthew Brickman answers your most frequently asked questions about divorce as he goes over several key points:
Assume nothing.
Know who you are before you get married.
Know who you're getting married to.
Know the laws and statutes in the state you live in.
Don't take advice from anyone who isn't a legal professional in the state in which you're getting married and living in.
Matthew Brickman is a Florida Supreme Court certified family and appellate mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. But what makes him qualified to speak on the subject of conflict resolution is his own personal experience with divorce.
Download Matthew's book on iTunes for FREE: You're Not the Only One - The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution
Matthew Brickman President iMediate Inc. Mediator 20836CFA iMediateInc.com
ABOUT MATTHEW BRICKMAN: Matthew Brickman is a Supreme Court of Florida certified county civil family mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. He is also an appellate certified mediator who mediates a variety of small claims, civil, and family cases. Mr. Brickman recently graduated both the Harvard Business School Negotiation Mastery Program and the Negotiation Master Class at Harvard Law School.
Mediate This! Podcast:
Hi. My name is Sydney Mitchell. Hi, I'm Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This! Podcast where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.
Matthew Brickman:
I had a listener write in and ask, does a person who initiates the divorce have an advantage on the other side? And what, if anything, can they do to be better prepared? Sydney and I have said for , uh, years on the podcast that it is important to know the laws of your own state. So I'm gonna be talking just specifically about the state of Florida. So Florida currently is a NOFA state, which means that the court can grant a divorce without having to find anybody at fault. So you've got two sides. You've got the petitioner and the respondent. The petitioner is the one who files for divorce. The respondent, well, they're the ones who get served, and they're the other side that then answers , uh, to the petition that's filed. So, is there any advantage? The only advantage that I would see is if the parties are not able to come to a resolution and they end up in front of a judge.
Speaker 1:
Well, the petitioner gets to talk first. Other than that, there's no real advantage versus disadvantage of who the petitioner is. Now, the petitioner , uh, they have to fill out the petitioner packet, and there are , there are few extra documents to fill out in the packet. Then the respondent , uh, may have to fill out. So usually it's like, you know, if I get a call from from parties, I'm like, okay, well, you know, who's better at filling out documents, then you might want to be the petitioner. Also, if the respondent is dragging their feet, not really wanting to move this thing along , um, whatnot , well then somebody may wanna be the petitioner because then they can file it, serve it, and then the respondent , uh, has a certain amount of days to then respond. Um, otherwise they may get a default entered against him or her. And so , um, if you wanna move the case along from the onset, well then you may want to be the petitioner. Some may say that that is an advantage. Um , but other than that, there really is no advantage or disadvantage to being the , uh, petitioner. Now in a final hearing, let's say for example, that two people come to , uh, mediation and they end up resolving everything while the petitioner and the respondent, the judge wants both of the parties to be there, but the petitioner has to be there. Uh , now I have seen in the past a few instances where actually the petitioner wasn't there. The respondent was, but that's only because the respondent didn't just file an answer, but filed a counter petition. And so since they filed a counter petition, well then they could be the only one there. Um, the other thing is if , um, if one party is changing their name, and I've had it where the wives generally are the ones changing their name, but I did have a mediation once where the husband was changing his name because he thought it'd be progressive to take on her name.
Matthew Brickman:
So , uh, he took her name and then the divorce, he wanted his name back. But if you're doing a name change, well then you have to show up. Doesn't matter if you're the petitioner or the respondent, you have to show up to , uh, your final hearing because you have to swear that you are who you are and that you're changing your name back to whatever it was. Um , so you know, does the , uh, petitioner have an advantage maybe in some states, not in the state of Florida? And how do you become better prepared? Well know the laws in your state. Um , it's pretty simple for all 50 states. You can simply Google your state and then family law statute, and it'll pull up and you can read through, see what the laws are, or you can always reach out to an attorney if you need legal advice.
Speaker 2:
If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info@ichatmediation.com that's info@ichatmediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shout out and have your question answered here on the show.
Speaker 1:
For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChat Mediation virtual platform built by Cisco Communications, visit me online@imediating.com. Call me at (561) 262-9121 toll free at 8 7 7 8 2 2 14 79 , or email me at m brickman at iChat mediation .