A listener writes in and asks, "What is the current process for DIY Divorce and DIY Paternity Action in the State of Florida?" Matthew Brickman answers your most frequently asked questions about divorce as he goes over several key points:
Assume nothing.
Know who you are before you get married.
Know who you're getting married to.
Know the laws and statutes in the state you live in.
Don't take advice from anyone who isn't a legal professional in the state in which you're getting married and living in.
Matthew Brickman is a Florida Supreme Court certified family and appellate mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. But what makes him qualified to speak on the subject of conflict resolution is his own personal experience with divorce.
Download Matthew's book on iTunes for FREE: You're Not the Only One - The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution
Matthew Brickman President iMediate Inc. Mediator 20836CFA iMediateInc.com
ABOUT MATTHEW BRICKMAN: Matthew Brickman is a Supreme Court of Florida certified county civil family mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. He is also an appellate certified mediator who mediates a variety of small claims, civil, and family cases. Mr. Brickman recently graduated both the Harvard Business School Negotiation Mastery Program and the Negotiation Master Class at Harvard Law School.
Mediate This! Podcast:
Hi, my name is Sydney Mitchell. Hi, I'm Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This! Podcast where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.
Matthew Brickman:
I wanna talk to you today about the DIY divorce or paternity action in the State of Florida. So let's go through the current process. How do you do your own divorce or paternity action? And I'm even gonna throw in a modification of paternity or even modification of a divorce. Um, and so let's talk about that. So what's the current process? How do you even get started? So, I have tried to make this as simple as possible for people , um, spelling everything out. So let's just go through it. First, go to my website, it's iChat mediation.com. That's I-C-H-A-T-M-E-D-I-A-T-I-O n.com . You're gonna scroll down to the middle of the page right below my photo to where it says, self-representation in divorce and paternity MA matters. And there's a blue button on the right hand side that says, learn more. Click that button. Okay. Now you go to a page dedicated specifically to you. So if you scroll down to the middle of the page, there are three different DIY guides that I have put together. One for divorce, one for paternity action, and one for modification. And so download the appropriate guide that you need in order to go through the steps. But let's just go through the steps for a DIY divorce. So, number one, you will need to get your packet for your disillusion of marriage. So where are the packets? Well, if you scroll down just below your DIY guide, you'll see mediation packets. If you click that button, then that will take you to a page that has all of the packets as well as instructions on filling out the packets. So the first packet is for a simplified disillusion of marriage. Your second is disillusion without children or property. The third packet is the establishment of paternity. The fourth one is a modification. The fifth one is if you are getting divorced and you do have assets and liabilities, but you don't have children. And then the last one is disillusion of marriage with children, which means you have assets, you have liabilities, and you have kids. Now on that page, there's two different packets. You have the petitioner packet and the respondent packet. The difference between the two packets is the petitioner has a few extra documents to fill out also with the petitioner packet . Um , look at it this way . This is the petitioner side of the story , and then the respondent packet is the respondent's side of the story. Nobody's looking at these documents. These are there to help you, help me help you. And so you need to fill out these documents. And then , um, right below the documents for download, there's an audio explanation for each of those where yours truly will take you through step by step filling out those packets so they , so that you will know how to fill those out. So that's the first thing you're going to do. You're gonna download your packet, you're gonna fill it out. Number three, well then you'll still stay on the same website and you will go to , um, schedule your mediation. So you can go up to the calendar at the top , um, of, of that page. Um, or on the packet page, you can go to the top for the calendar. And so you click on the calendar link at the top and that will take you to a live calendar showing my availability. So how does the calendar work? So the calendar itself do not pay attention to any of the letters. That's just coding behind the word mediation. But if there is a mediation scheduled, if you click on one, a box will pop up and it will say, what time I am to start mediation and what time I'm scheduled until mediation. That way. For example, if you wanted to schedule, say after, you know, in an afternoon or maybe if I have a mid-afternoon mediation, you wanted to schedule something in the morning, well then you will know then how to schedule appropriately. You'll see , um, that there will be openings to say, call, email, or text for availability. So based on that particular day, just follow the directions. Either call, email, or text me and see what I'm available for that particular day. If you see the word unavailable, well then there's no availability at all. That day is blocked out. The other one that you will see is available all day. If it says available all day, well then you've got your choosing on what time you wanna start. Um , and so then, then what do you do? Well , right above the calendar, if you want to check on pricing, well then you're gonna click where it says Check our pricing. And that will take you then to the pricing page. If you wanna schedule, well , then you will click navigation to scheduler. And then you've got two options. If you're a law firm, then you're gonna use the form on the left. If you're not a law firm, then you're gonna use the form on the right. So let's say that you're not a law firm, you're gonna use this form and then you're going to fill out the information the best you know how , and then send that. If you are getting an error, you will see at the top of the form and the bottom of the form. It says Problems with this form, use our Google form. So then if you are getting an error for whatever reason, whether it's web traffic or a particular browser, we'll then simply click on the Google form and that will then take you then to Google Docs and let you fill out the form there with no issues whatsoever. So that will be then your next step is to fill out the forms so that you can schedule for your mediation. Now the other thing you'll need to do is you will , if, if you do have children, you will need to take a , uh, parenting course and you will need to print out your certificate to then file with the course. Um , so what's the next step? Once you do all of that , um, then of course you know you're gonna get scheduled. Once I get your request for mediation, then I will then send you an email. You're gonna get an email that's gonna have the login information as well as then a letter of confirmation. You are also going to be emailed a credit card authorization form . The credit card authorization form has to be filled out prior to mediation. And then as far as all of your paperwork, you'll need to fill out your paperwork. You can have it notarized either before or after mediation. That's completely up to you. And you will need to have the paperwork available , um, for mediation because all that information, again, the petitioner packet is one side of the story. Respondent packet is the other side. And then what your mediation agreement would be. And if you have children, your parenting plan, that's the final, our version of the story. And that's what the judge actually signs off on as your , uh, court order in your disillusion or in your paternity action. That's what the judge signs off on as your final judgment to establish paternity. So then what happens if you reach an agreement in mediation? Well then it is up to you whether you wanna file your own papers. So file your own petitioner packet, respondent packet, file all the documents from mediation, file your parenting course certificates if you've got children, and then set your own final hearing. Or what most people do is they will simply hire an attorney to file all of the paperwork and then set them for final hearing. So what's the difference with the two routes? Well, if you file your own paperwork and set yourself for your own final hearing, you will get put on the docket behind all the attorney cases. So there could be a delay with getting your final hearing. I have heard that it could be anywhere between three to six months. Um, but a lot of it depends on the courthouse, depends on which judge you get assigned to, depends on the time of year, how backlogged they are. Um, and so all of those are different factors that then can lead to, you know , a delay in getting your final hearing. If you actually hire an attorney to file, well then how it goes is at the end of mediation, if you haven't gotten your documents notarized, get 'em notarized and you're going to email me. You're completed packets. Once you get those filled out, done and notarized. And then I will take your packets along with all the documents that we create in mediation, and then I will email that to an attorney , um, who will then file all of the documents. So you don't even have to go to the courthouse, you don't have to leave the house, you don't have to try to figure everything out. And then they will even set you for final hearing. So again, you will not have to go through all of the different steps and, and delays and whatnot with the attorneys. They will set you, you can get it expedited , um, from what most , uh, from , from what I hear the most, it can be anywhere, you know, between 30 to 45 days , um, to get set for a final hearing. So, you know, a month and a half or so versus three to six months, it's much faster. And what does that cost? That cost is approximately 550, maybe $600. Um, so it's a low fee. It's , it's not like you're retaining an attorney for thousands of dollars. It's a low fee in order to have everything filed and then set for final hearing. Now, your filing fee to the court is separate. Currently at the time of this recording, I believe it's 400 2420 $5. That's separate from that five 50 . The five 50 is simply for the attorney to file and to set you for your final hearing. But you will still have to pay your filing fee. So what are all of the costs associated with doing it yourself versus doing it with an attorney? Okay, so doing it yourself , uh, to get all the paperwork, the paperwork, like we said is on my website. And so you do not have to go and buy the paperwork from the courthouse. So you're gonna save money from the very beginning. Your parenting course, if you have children , uh, your parenting course I believe is about 40, $45 each. Okay? So there's a cost and then mediation, you'll have my fee. Um , and then you will have the filing fee to the court like we discussed. And then you will have then the fee to the attorney. So you can estimate that you will most likely be done with everything cost out the door for under two to two and a half thousand dollars. Now that's much different than hiring an an attorney. So attorneys, as of the date of this recording, the average divorce in the state of Florida takes approximately 22 months and costs around $30,000 once you get attorneys involved. Well, it's, as you've, we've already determined, 'cause we've talked about it, you can get divorced without attorneys , um, for less than, you know, 3000. And it can take approximately a month or so, month and a half to get a final hearing, saving you thousands of dollars and a lot of time. But that is completely up to you , um, which route you want to go. Sometimes the attorneys are an absolute necessity. You should not proceed at all without them. Um, and sometimes they're not. Who determines that? You determine that. You determine whether or not you need an attorney , uh, to take you through this or not.
Sydney Mitchell:
If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info@ichatmediation.com that's info@ichatmediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shout out and have your question answered here on the show.
Matthew Brickman:
For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChatMediation Virtual Platform built by Cisco Communications. Visit me online at www.iMediateInc.com. Call me at 561-262-9121, Toll-Free at 877-822-1479 or email me at MBrickman@iChatMediation.com.