Mediate This!
Mediate This!
Why Does My Wife Get The House While I Rent? with Ryan D. Brown
Matthew Brickman sits down with Ryan D. Brown to discuss why there are situations where a person loses a house to their spouse in a divorce and then has to rent without the ability to financially withstand the impact of this event.
Ryan D. Brown is the Branch Manager / Mortgage Loan Originator/ Divisional Vice President of the Palm Beach Gardens and Stuart locations of Cross Country Mortgage. For the last 5 years in a row The Ryan Brown Team won BEST LENDER in Palm Beach County by The Palm Beach Post and won the BEST LENDER in the Treasure Coast for 2025!
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You're Not the Only One - The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution
Matthew Brickman
President iMediate Inc.
Mediator 20836CFA
iMediateInc.com
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ABOUT MATTHEW BRICKMAN:
Matthew Brickman is a Supreme Court of Florida certified county civil family mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. He is also an appellate certified mediator who mediates a variety of small claims, civil, and family cases. Mr. Brickman recently graduated both the Harvard Business School Negotiation Mastery Program and the Negotiation Master Class at Harvard Law School.
Hi, my name is Sydney Mitchell. Hi, I'm Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme Court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This Podcast, where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution. Let me ask you about this. So this is something new that I read that I don't know. I think it's Trump's housing secretary had posted, or I read or heard something. One of the problems that I was running into, uh, I haven't heard it recently. So maybe this goes towards it. But you know, you've got a mortgage, say at $2,000, you sell the home, and you had a nice five-bedroom home, you got it a low interest rate, you bought low, it was awesome. Marriage was amazing. Now you're getting divorced, you have to sell the home. And now you get to go rent a two-bedroom for third for you know $3,000. Right? And so many people go, What am I supposed to do now? And my answer, and I mean, it sounds cold, but that is the court. The you know, Lady Justice is blindfolded. Shh, she's not emotional. She honestly doesn't care. It's not her problem. You chose to get divorced. This is the consequence of that divorce. And so now they're like, Okay, well, now I've got to sell my home, and now I've got to then go and rent. Um, then how am I ever supposed to get a mortgage? Because sometimes I've I've I've had people that are renting, they didn't own a home, and then they're like, Well, how am I going to qualify for a mortgage? So, what I heard was rent payment history can be applied towards showing a mortgage company that one can qualify. So, like, for example, if you're paying $2,500, it used to be as you know, in rent, it used to be like, well, no, you can't afford a mortgage of $2,000. You've got a $2,500 rent payment. Is that true? How does that work? What do you know about it?
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, like that that case is more along the lines of like adding it to say your credit report to like boost your credit scores. And so there are there are ways where you can now use your rent and your payment history on your rent to add it to your credit to help generate higher credit scores. Okay. Um, lenders, depending on the loan product, don't always look at your current rent. Like if you're paying your rent on times, there's some loan products that require it, the the last to prove last 12 months of rent and no late payments. Um, but your standard loans, like your FHA and conventional, you know, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, they don't require the rent payment history. But that would be more of a function of maybe uh post-divorce rebuilding credit, where your credit literally got destroyed, you've negotiated, you know, paid off your collections or negotiated, did some negotiated settlements on those. You're rebuilding credit, that would be a great, you know, function of that if you can get that rental history now added to your credit, because that would that would definitely boost the credit scores.
Matthew Brickman:All right. So I'm gonna ask you a question that uh just based on something you just said. So we're we're talking about credit. Sometimes in a divorce, they're looking at, okay, well, I think we just got to file bankruptcy, right? And sometimes they're like, no, no, no, we're gonna do a loan consolidation. Is one better than the other in a divorce to then set them up for success for purchase later? Or do are they both equally bad? Like, what does a lender look at when it's either when they're coming out of divorce and either filing bankruptcy or then going, okay, well, I got my debt and you got your debt? And oh, I'm just gonna do a loan, I'm gonna do a loan consolidation. How does the lenders look at that or whatever?
Ryan D. Brown:I mean, it it's better to like negotiate the debts and pay them and close them, do like settled, you know, settled for less than full balance. Like it's better to do that and then try to work on maybe disputing them and trying to get them removed from your credit post. Um, or sometimes when you negotiate with them, you can request, be like, listen, I'll I'll pay you the balance or I'll give you a percentage, but in exchange for that, I want you to remove it from my credit report. So you maybe you can negotiate that. Certain creditors, you can negotiate that, and they'll the collection agency will take that money and then remove it from credit. Doesn't always happen. I mean, a bankruptcy is a is a you know, it's a big hit, you know, that stays in your credit for 10 years. Uh I did that when I was young, and it was a big hit. Yeah. The nice thing about you know, if you're gonna go into bankruptcy is if you if you have like just a ton and ton of debt, obviously your income has changed. The chapter seven, you you know, you can wipe it out if if your income is still there and you just can't afford it, you know, then you can you know do the other bankruptcies where it allows you to do a payment plan. Sure. Um, but general rule Which is better?
Matthew Brickman:Would it be better, wiping it out or payment plan? Um for for for then purchasing later. Do they look at it differently or do they like bankruptcy is a bankruptcy?
Ryan D. Brown:There's different ways of looking at it, but like the general rule is you're you're gonna be at least like three years post-bankruptcy to buy a house.
Matthew Brickman:Okay, all right. So at least three years. All right, that's good to know. Yeah, uh, I shouldn't have done it when I did. I mean, I did it. I mean, you and I knew each other because I remember you were working on like credit repair or whatnot back in the day. I did I pay I paid eleven hundred dollars to bankrupt 21,000, and then it was on my credit forever. I was like, it was just such a bad move. But I was young, I was in my early 20s, married with two kids, barely surviving. It was like should have waited bankrupt like 100. That would have been so much better. But 20, that's like these days you can't even buy a car for 20. So what was I doing? But but yeah, it definitely did hinder um because yeah, because I mean I I had to wait to even buy my condo when you helped me because of that. Yeah, I remember I had to wait uh a period of time. I think when I first approached you, you know, you had pulled it, just like, not yet.
Ryan D. Brown:We've we've I mean a lot of times when you when we look at you know, somebody wants to buy a house, they come to us, wanting to buy a house, they're post-divorce, and you pull their credit, and there's just tons and tons and tons and tons of debt. And they're like, look, that was for my divorce, that was my ex-wife or my ex-husband. Right. And unfortunately, you know, it's still on your credit, it's still gonna be there, even a charge off that's gonna be in your credit for seven years. Um, even though you have a say a court order, um, even for example, on a mortgage, you know, say the person went late on the mortgage, you have a court order that says, My spouse, they are 100% responsible for the deed, but they never refinance, so every every month they're late, you know, it's going against you. Now, as a lender, yes, we can use the court order to not technically count it against you, but it it's still gonna count against your credit score. Sure. So your score is gonna be in the in the in the toilet, so to speak. Um, but technically, we don't have to count it against you from an underwriting standpoint, but from a credit score, it's gonna, you know, definitely increase your interest rates and maybe hinder you from qualifying for a loan. Yeah.
Matthew Brickman:Well, and and and I always say, because I learned from my own divorce, the court can't supersede the bank, and the bank can't supersede the court. I mean, and so I can't say, oh, well, look, I have a court order, the bank's gonna be like, oh, a court order? Great. Or I'm gonna go to court and be like, well, the bank says they're gonna be like, oh, the bank? Okay, well, then yeah, well, no, they can't supersede each other. And so that's why, you know, the you know, the question that I ask people in mediation is, whose name is it in? It's a marital debt, but whose name is it in? All right, that's going in your column because I'm not gonna say, oh, well, this is in his name, and she says she's gonna be responsible for it. Okay, fine. Well, what if she's not? He's gonna take the credit hit. And the bank can't, and the court can't come in and say, No, you need to pay it. The bank's gonna be like, You signed it, you're responsible for it. And so that's that that's why, like, in theory, like in that chart that I run, yes, it's gonna do a 50-50 analysis, but I'm putting things as they are titled in the appropriate person's column because the bank can't supersede the court, and the court can't supersede the bank. Yep. So, um, all right, so let me ask you this question then. So, valuing a home, and I know you know you're not an appraiser, but you work with appraisers and you know the industry and whatnot, a lot of times in mediation, um and and and I send out a letter. When people schedule mediation, I send out a letter listening, okay, required documents. And one of the documents is a current appraisal of a marital home within the past 30 days. Like, I want a recent appraisal, give me a value, especially if we're having to negotiate equitable distribution.
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, right.
Matthew Brickman:And nobody reads attorneys, paralegals, the parties, nobody reads. I'm like, how do you not like this? Is the letter for your divorce to get ready for divorce? So you're not wasting a thousand dollars an hour between attorneys and mediators to then try to put a value on something like, well, I don't know. And now you got to come back or whatever. So then a lot of times the attorneys are like, oh, well, you know, Zillow has it appraised, or Redfin has it, or you know, Julio, or whatever. From my understanding, those are based on like cops. That's not your value truly of your home or what the bank is gonna value it. Is it good to use it? Okay, not good. Like, I mean, I I know that there's nothing better than your own individual appraisal. Yeah.
Ryan D. Brown:But if you don't have it, I would say, like, you know, like in neighborhoods where you know you're in HOA, it's you know, it's cookie cutter, you know, where where their algorithm can say, okay, you have a three-bedroom, two bath, 2,000 square feet, and then they can pull the comps within that neighborhood, three bedroom, two bath, 2,000 square feet, probably the same model, and they'll average out those comps and they'll give you kind of a valuation.
Matthew Brickman:Now that doesn't take into account like any upgrades in in inside or anything like outside that you have, or you're or maybe lot size, or lot size, like maybe you're a corner lot and the other one is stuck in between uh you know two homes.
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, there's a a lot of nuance there. I yeah, I think it's a good kind of gauge. Usually it's pretty close, but not all cases. And I would say, like, if you're saying like a Jupyter Farms or Laksahatchie, there's gonna be a lot of variations there because everything is so different, but there nothing beats just an appraisal. I mean, you can get like a good quality appraisal from a local appraiser for probably you know 450, 400 bucks, 200 bucks each. You guys can split it, it's worth it. You know, at least you have a third party, a non-interested third party valuing the property.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah, yeah. And that's uh again, I always thought about go get these prior, but a lot of times, um, for two reasons. Either they just haven't done it, or sometimes they're like, Look, we don't have money to be throwing around like that. And and and I say, Hey, look, you know what? If this is your largest asset, you cannot not afford to not do it. Like, you need to do it. Now, there are times where where the parties will be like, Yeah, you know, we pulled, you know, we had a friend that, you know, pulled cops. Sometimes one of the parties is a real estate agent. Like, who is not a real estate agent? Raise your hand if you're not a real estate agent in Florida. This guy, but everybody else is like, everyone's, you know, going to real estate class and everyone's a real estate agent, but um, and so they're they're pulling their own. Sometimes other parties just say, Hey, look, you know what? I think it's about 650. I think it's about 630. You know what? You want to just call it 640? Let's just call it 640 and be done. You know, okay, fine, but that could be for equitable distribution. When they go in, and let's go back to our first one of refire assume. The value that's going to be used is the is the bank appraisal for the refi or the assumption.
Ryan D. Brown:Which is usually very different than a broker's price opinion than a realtor when they're when they're pricing out the house, they're they're pricing out as what they're going to list it for. An appraiser is going off of closed comparable comps. That's it. Closed comparable comps. Um, so they're the values are usually going to be quite different, what you're going to list for versus what you're going to appraise. So, yeah, if it's a refinance situation, especially in a cash out, it's always good to have an appraisal for sure.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah. Interesting.
Ryan D. Brown:Interesting.
Matthew Brickman:All right. So what what else don't I know? What else do I, or what else do I need to have?
Ryan D. Brown:I would say, you know, another thing that's you know very important to make sure people are consulting with their you know CPAs is the whole capital gains. You know, because if you're a married couple and if you've owned a primary home two out of the last five years, you're exempt up to $500,000 in capital gains. Okay. You know, for example, if you bought a house for $500,000, it's now worth say $1.2 million, you know, you're now gonna have a gain of $700,000. So if you sell the property and you're still married, then you're exempt for $500,000 of that $700 from tax, about 20%. So the the $200,000 would be the taxable portion. If you're single, that drops to $250. So if the sale goes through, say past the divorce, and this again, this would have to be a CPA question on how they would categorize it. Right. But you just want to make sure that if it's a sales situation, you're not gonna be stuck with only being exempt of $250,000 of the capital gains versus the $500, because that could be a big uh tax hit. So just something to be like aware of and make sure people are consulting their their CPAs at the time if it's gonna be a sales situation.
Matthew Brickman:All right. So so in that private mediated terms of sale I was telling you about, um one speaking of, and and I've got another one for you too, because I've got two sentences here. So one says um each party is entitled to receive 50% of the capital gains exemption. It's a marital piece of property, they each get 50%. That's what you're talking about, correct? Yep. And then the other one that I have is each party or uh the parties will split the homestead portability exemption 50-50 as well. Can you talk about that a little bit?
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, there yeah, there's that too. Because the great thing in South Florida is that when you're a homestead property, you're capped, your your taxable basis is capped at 3% per year. So they your your value can't just keep increasing, increasing like your taxable value. The the this the county or the city has to keep it at a low rate. So as a primary, it's three percent per year cap on investment property, it's 10%. So like your taxes can go up much higher on investment property versus primary. But over time, the longer you live in that house, that 3% cap keeps your taxes low. That's why sometimes you look at a property like, wow, that that guy's only paying $3,000 a month. His house is worth, you know, $1.2 million. Like, how is that possible? Well, the guy's owned it for 30 years, you know, he hasn't he's been capped that whole time. Wow. So the difference between your taxable basis and the actual market value is your portability. So let's just say they're taxing you have 500 grand, but your market value of the property is 800,000. You now have this $300,000 that you can now port over to another property to drop your taxes. So, like the way you're writing in is great, where you can say port over $150 and then $150. And I believe that has to be done within two years. I think you have a two-year window to port that over, if I'm not mistaken.
Matthew Brickman:So, what you're saying is let's let let's say, for example, they got divorced today, right? They would have two years to buy something else to port that to. To port it, yeah. Otherwise, use it or lose it?
Ryan D. Brown:Mm-hmm.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah. Wow. Wow. Okay. Didn't know that either. All right, what all right, what else don't I know? Or what else, what else did um you know what? What about how does that work say on um a second home? Let's say that they have their primary home here and they have a second home in another state. I just had this recently, and um they were going, let's see, the wife got awarded the property in another state, the husband um and the wife, I think, were selling the one here, but they're not, I mean, it's not going to turn out dollar for dollar with how all of that is working with a refi or assumption, the buyout, you know, because they're both on the properties, because then you've got different taxes and different states and different rules. And yes, and one of them, and one of them right now, they're both living in Florida in the marital one, and the one that they've got in another state is rental as well. Right. It's uh what it's a uh what do they call that? Not a VRBO, it's uh the rental ones. I forgot what they call them.
Ryan D. Brown:What do they call this? Like a sh- yeah, like a sh like a short-term rental or a vacation stay. Yep. Yeah, that's like yeah, and actually let me correct myself, it is a three-year timeline to trust to transfer the benefits, not two years. Oh, three years.
Matthew Brickman:Okay. All right, that's still good. So so yeah, so so when when when someone's keeping rental property, selling marital property that's homesteaded, like, you know, and we're and we're trying to value these things, they sort of have different values. Because they're treated differently.
Ryan D. Brown:Correct? Yeah, like, yeah, like a especially like a short-term rental, like the valuation on those, you could you could really have two different types of valuation on that. You could have the the sales comparison approach where you just value it based on other sales. Say it's a cabin in North Carolina, so it's other sales of cabins, similar score five and bed map count. And then you have like the the business portion of it. It's like, okay, well, yeah, this one's you know, the neighbor sold for you know a million bucks. So maybe our value is a million, but hey, listen, I'm bringing in $800,000 a year of income because I have all these amenities. So really the value is a lot higher because it's it's now a business, it's an actual business. Yeah, so there's different ways of valuing it. You could value it as an actual business, um, or you could value it as a sales comparison approach. So if it's a very successful property, you're probably gonna get a higher valuation on the business side of it. Yeah. Right. Wow.
Matthew Brickman:All right, what else do I need to know? What other knowledge do you have that we may need to know about when it comes to you know, property after a divorce?
Ryan D. Brown:I mean, I think I think we covered um, yeah, I think I think we covered most of it. You know, I think it's just making sure you have, you know, good conversations with your mortgage lender, with your CPA, obviously with your attorney. Um, you know, I think mediation is 100% the best way to go and makes a lot of sense because you can really sort things out um and get in just get on the same page. But it's really important to have to not assume anything, you know, to always, you know, make sure you're getting the appraisal or talking to a mortgage layer or getting pre-qualified, even if you're not doing a transaction. Let me just make sure I can actually qualify if I do this in four or five months from now. It's it's better to flush all that stuff out up front. You know, that way everybody's on the same page and it averts disaster down the road.
Matthew Brickman:Well, and one of the one of the other things I was just thinking when you said that that we run into when it comes to uh valuations, which uh I have a hard time subscribing to, um, because it's like, but we're not doing that, is let's say, for example, they're gonna sell it, right? They're like, well, it's worth this, less closing cost, you know, listing fees, all of this. So then you actually get this.
Ryan D. Brown:Right.
Matthew Brickman:So if you're gonna keep it and refinance it, we have to take all of those things into consideration. That's right. You don't take all of them. I mean, yeah, you're gonna have a closing cost, but you're not gonna have listing fees and realtor fees. And sometimes the attorney will be like, well, we're just gonna attribute all of this. It's like, well, no, you give that they're two different processes that have two different sets of fees. So usually, Ryan, in a refire assumption, whoever wants to keep the property is pay is assuming those fees. We're not factoring that in. If they're selling it and they're each getting half of it, then they're each eating the fees, right? Does that make sense? Um, I don't think I've thinking, I don't think I've ever had one where it's like somebody wanted to keep the property, refire assume, and they said, Well, yeah, you're gonna pay half of the closing costs. I'm like, uh, it's your property. You're you're gonna take it. If you if you can get over those hurdles, you can keep it. Yeah. Um so so real quick, just just to clarify, assumption. Can you assume um a V uh? So I mean, I will I I know you can assume. Oh right. Okay, you know. I think I know. Um, I think I know you can assume an FHA, right? FHA or assumable. Yeah.
Ryan D. Brown:Okay. Um VA. VAs are assumable even to a non-veteran spouse.
Matthew Brickman:Oh, I didn't know that. Okay, that's good. So so let's say that let's say that husband served, he's got the VA loan, wife wants to keep the home, she can assume it because it's VA even though she never served. Right. Yeah, and a lot of times, a lot of times he's like, look, we have to sell it, assume it, refine. I need that back, right?
Ryan D. Brown:Like it's a it's it's it's attached to him. Right. So the downside to the VA assumption is so let's just say your your spouse, ex-spouse assumes that loan, you don't get your entitlement back. Your entitlement is what you can use to decide to get another VA. So the the entitlement will stay with that property until the until she's either sells it or redesign. Yeah. So a lot of times on VA, they don't want to do the assumption unless the the guy, maybe the guy's older or girl's older, they're like, I'm never gonna buy a house again or something, you know, and they don't they don't need it, then you know, but usually they'll want to have it refinanced.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah, because they I always hear I want it back so I can go get another one. Um, conventional.
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, you can assume conventional same same thing. The servicer has to make sure that you qualify to approve it.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah, and then you had mentioned in the beginning there was the there was the you know the the different types. I think you said uh private. Did you say private?
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, sometimes you might have a portfolio loan or a private loan with a private lender or a just a bank that keeps it on portfolio. And so all of those are just you're gonna have to just contact them to find out where their commands are.
Matthew Brickman:So, and these are the things that I tell people go like if you know you have a home, you know that somehow in one way or another, refi, assume, or sell, you have to remove the other person. You're gonna need to buy them out. Go have these conversations before mediation so you can come and have an actual intelligent conversation where we can simply then just map it out. But so many times they don't, which is why you get phone calls from me, um, asking just general questions. And of course, you're like, have them come in, we'll sit down, we'll take a look at everything. Because I mean, just getting a few like pieces, you can't say a definitive yes or no, because then they could present something that's like, oh, well, it was yes until you told me that. Right. Um, so if they're gonna come in, let's let's just say that that they're gonna come in and talk to you prior to see like maybe that they may pre-qualify for something or whatnot. Like, is it sort of like Carmax where it's like, hey, yeah, here's here's your offer, it's good for 90 days. Like, if if they pre-qualified, how long is that good for?
Ryan D. Brown:Typically 60 days. And then you just have to update it, you know, with a quick conversation.
Matthew Brickman:And and again, just to pre-qualify, you're looking at the same things. You're looking at their credit score, their income debt ratio, yeah. Um, whatnot. Um, and then you um what about what about like a stay-at-home mom or dad, or maybe they're unemployed or whatnot, and now they're gonna have to try to do something. They need to show income for how long? I know we had talked about like alimony or child support. Is it the same thing like income is income? They need to show six months income for the most part, yes. Yeah, six months income. And only because I I I I keep running into this too. What if they had a job and then they lost a job and then they got another job, and then maybe they lost that job or quit it and they got another job? Is it six months continual the same? Or is it I mean, if they keep bouncing, I mean, to me, I'm going, gosh, something's wrong or they can't hold down.
Ryan D. Brown:Stability for sure. Um, on FHA, if you've been out of work for greater than six months, they want to see six months back to work. Conventional is you know, conventional is more um, you know, loose on those type of guidelines where you know, maybe you've been a stay-at-home mom. You have to have at least a two-year work history. So let's just say maybe two years ago you're a full-time executive, you took two years off been raising the kids, but now you just got an offer to go work for Johnson and Johnson at 100 grand a year. We have an offer letter. We could use that, and she could qualify on a conventional loan. FHA has the rule of the six-month rule. If you've been out for six months, you've got to be back to six months. Conventional, it just has to make sense. Um, and we still have to have a two-year history. So prior to your time off, we've got to have a history kind of going back two years.
Matthew Brickman:All good information. Because I'll tell you, now I'm a bit apprehensive talking to anybody. I've been doing this for 18 years. I've done over 3,400 mediations. I have mediated over 12,000 hours. And now I'm going, yeah, I don't think I want to deal with the house until they go talk to Ryan Brown. Because there's a lot that I, you know, I'm I'm setting up the rules, but I didn't even know the rules. Again, the court versus the bank. Me, court side, you, bank side. And unless those two were talking and exchanging documents and getting a full picture, I don't want to set people up going, yeah, yeah, you can keep your home. Yeah, I get to keep my home. They come and see you, they're like, nope, you can't keep your home. Sorry, you can't keep your home. We can't do it within these timelines. You haven't shown this. No, you can't do that. So, like, I almost don't want to even touch anyone with a home in mediation until they've got this information. Because really, I could be setting them up for failure. And that's not the point of mediation. The point is empower you so you can achieve whatever goal you want. But what I hear from you is the people really need to do their own investigatory work. Don't put your head in the sand, don't ignore it, don't be weak in cowardice. If you want this house, you better step up and figure it out before you ever land in mediation. Right. Right? Yep.
Ryan D. Brown:It'd be much easier negotiating if you walk in and say, Hey, listen, oh, by the way, here's my pre-approval letter. I'm good, you know, I'm good for the 500,000. Absolutely.
Matthew Brickman:Absolutely. Here, here's the value. I mean, pulling a statement to see what you know, that's easy. They log on and here's my statement. Um, that's easy. It's usually the value to figure out the equity, to figure out the equitable distribution and all the other stuff. Yeah. So, all right. So um we got two things left before we before I say goodbye. First, how um how what is the best way to find you? How can people get a hold of you?
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, best way to sell the website is it's just Ryan D, as in David Brown, Ryan Dbrown.com. Uh has all my information there. Or you can email me at Ryan.brown at CCM Crosscountrymortgage, ccm.com.
Matthew Brickman:All right, and phone number if they want to call you.
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, 561-253-1807.
Matthew Brickman:And your home address if they want to stop by and drop you off a present now. Um so all right. I always ask my guests now. Lightning round five questions. Okay. All right. And I say lightning and then it turns into this long conversation because you have to explain it, right? But dream job. What is it or what would it be? Or are you doing it?
Ryan D. Brown:A dream uh dream job?
Matthew Brickman:Dream job, yeah.
Ryan D. Brown:Working for Dana White at the UFC. Doing anything.
Matthew Brickman:Anything. So working all right, that's interesting. Because Tell everybody why you have a little bit of background in UF Sync.
Ryan D. Brown:Yeah, yeah, no, I've been training like my whole life. Wrestling, jujitsu, uh muay, muay fighting. I've had a few fights. So yeah, it's it's good, it's good stuff. I love it.
Matthew Brickman:All right, all right. So so if you want your mortgage, Ryan will actually fight to get it for you. You will fight to put put Ryan in the cage. He will fight to the death to get you your refi assumption or your home equity loan. All right, number two. Um favorite type of music.
Ryan D. Brown:Uh favorite type of music is probably um Christian. And my kids have yelled into like um Josiah Queen and Force Frank lately, so that's what they listen to. So that's what I listen to. All righty. Favorite food? Favorite food? Um, I'd probably go Thai food.
Matthew Brickman:Thai food, okay.
Ryan D. Brown:Salty, sweet, spicy, and sour all at the same time.
Matthew Brickman:You just you just hit all the notes. All right. Well, speaking of food, if you could have a meal with one person living or dead, who would it be and why?
Ryan D. Brown:Uh that would 100% be my uh grandfather. That was very close with him. He died at the age of 105.
Matthew Brickman:And uh I didn't even know that.
Ryan D. Brown:Uh he was a great man. So uh I'd love to have one uh one dinner with Grandpa Brown back for sure. All right. And why? Oh, he's just just just an amazing person. I've always learned so like so much from him. Um and um, you know, just have that time back in a time. It's just those things that you you can't get back, you know, so you have to enjoy every moment. Yeah.
Matthew Brickman:So all right, so so I'll tell a little story. Um speaking that you mentioned Grandpa Brown, so you told me something when we were very, very, very young that I still remember this day, and I even tell people, but it was something that you told me that Grandpa Brown told you of. Okay. Do you remember what it was? No, but okay. You told me that he said, When you look for a woman, there's two things you look for. Does this sound familiar?
Ryan D. Brown:Yep.
Matthew Brickman:What did he tell you?
Ryan D. Brown:The two the two things.
Matthew Brickman:Well, one is one is the eyes because the lever changes, yeah, window to the soul, and number two, number two was uh a sense of humor, probably.
Ryan D. Brown:Why you you told me conversation? Conversation, yeah.
Matthew Brickman:You told me conversation because one day may come, and there's nothing there's nothing else that can happen between the two of you, and you better be able to communicate. So the eyes, window of the soul, and communication. I've always I've always I've always remembered that. I've taken it with me. And even when I found my wife, you know, when I found Mary, I's the window of the soul, and we have always been able to communicate. Granted, most of it is arguments because we're both opinionated, strong will, and excellent communicators, but but she's my best friend to talk to. And I've always remembered that. Like, oh, so grandpa brown, and I remember you said that was what he said. Okay, last question. All right, so that makes sense. Last question. If you could live anywhere in the world with your family, so you're you're you're you're taking your kids and your wife with you. If you could live anywhere in the world with your family, where would you live and why?
Ryan D. Brown:Um I mean I love America, but if it was outside of America, uh it would it would definitely be in northern Italy. My wife's family's from there. We've spent spent a lot of time um up there. It's just the most beautiful, small little towns, um amazing food. This is great. Northern Italy would be the spot. Northern Italy.
Matthew Brickman:Any anywhere like particular, like city town. Like I'm I'm unfamiliar with northern Italy.
Ryan D. Brown:Anywhere in the Alps or the Dolmite range, like anywhere up in the mountains, a little valley town somewhere. You go from the beaches of Florida to the mountains of northern Italy.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah, that's awesome. Well, Ryan, I greatly, greatly, greatly appreciate your wisdom insight. Um, and as always, I'm gonna continue referring people to you because there is no one better. Um, people have tried, but you're the one with the award, so there's no one better.
Ryan D. Brown:So I appreciate you. Absolutely. Matthew's a great uh honor. Thank you for having me on. You know, you're a great, a great friend, and just big respect for you for everything that you've accomplished in the mediation industry, and um, you know, just very proud to see like where you've grown in your in your career. So I feel like too.
Matthew Brickman:Thank you so much For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChatMediation Virtual Platform built by Cisco Communications. Visit me online at www.iMediateInc.com. Call me at 561-262-9121, Toll-Free at 877-822-1479 or email me at MBrickman@iChatMediation.com.iCatMediation.com.