Mediate This!
Mediate This!
Interview with Bryan Power - Integrated Attachment Theory Coach
What's Your Attachment Style?
Attachment theory explores how early relationships with caregivers shape the way we connect with others throughout life. It helps explain patterns in how we form bonds, handle intimacy, and respond to conflict. Understanding attachment styles can provide valuable insight into our relationships, helping us build healthier, more secure connections.
Secure
Anxious Preoccupied
Fearful Avoidant
Dismissive Avoidant
Learn more about Bryan Power's relationship coaching at:
https://www.myrelationshipfail.com'
https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryanwpower/
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If you have a matter, disagreement, or dispute you need professional help with then visit iMediate.com - Email mbrickman@ichatmediation or Call (877) 822-1479
Matthew Brickman is a Florida Supreme Court certified family and appellate mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. But what makes him qualified to speak on the subject of conflict resolution is his own personal experience with divorce.
Download Matthew's book on iTunes for FREE:
You're Not the Only One - The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution
Matthew Brickman
President iMediate Inc.
Mediator 20836CFA
iMediateInc.com
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ABOUT MATTHEW BRICKMAN:
Matthew Brickman is a Supreme Court of Florida certified county civil family mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. He is also an appellate certified mediator who mediates a variety of small claims, civil, and family cases. Mr. Brickman recently graduated both the Harvard Business School Negotiation Mastery Program and the Negotiation Master Class at Harvard Law School.
Hi, my name is Sidney Mitchell. Hi, I'm Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme Court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This Podcast, where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution. So I'm joined here today by uh Brian Power, and we are going to be talking attachment theory. So, Brian, welcome to the podcast.
Bryan Power:Matthew, thanks so much for having me today. I'm excited to uh share my story and uh hopefully we can help some people here today with the information we'll love to share. Yeah.
Matthew Brickman:Absolutely. Because, you know, as as a family mediator, um, we've got to get through all the legal stuff. And I know you've been, I've read some of your story, you've gone through the legal stuff, but so much of the time we've got to get through the emotional stuff before we can deal with the legal stuff. Because a lot of people come into the legal arena and there's a lot of emotion. Um, and so you know, sometimes that's got to be dealt with. And then even once they get through the legal process, they still have the baggage of the emotion. They may still have to co-parent, they may still have to see the other person, deal with the other person, and there's there's healing that they may need to do individually as well as maybe if they can together. So, yeah, take it, take it away. Talk to us about attachment style, your story. I'm I'm excited for everyone to hear.
Bryan Power:Yeah, so I mean, uh, you know, my wife and I went through a pretty crazy 2024 where we almost landed ourselves uh, you know, in in mediation and divorce and everything. Um, you know, early on in 2024, we started having some, you know, we had a pretty good fight, I guess you could say, you know, parenting styles were different. And so that kind of challenged my wife. My wife challenged me to see a therapist from that. And I said, you know, fair enough, I'll I'll check it out to see if I can learn something, you know. Uh, but I also challenged her to see a therapist because in my mind, of course, she was the one with all the issues, right? And in her mind, I'm the one with all the issues. And so that was the first thing I learned is that you know, we both have issues. We we need to kind of take some ownership of our own stuff and how we're showing up in that. Um, the therapy was good, but it actually started to trigger us, and and the emotional triggers that would start to come over the next few months really became very combative in a sense, emotionally combative, not yelling or screaming, anything like that, but the emotion was just really crazy. She was trying to pull away, get some space, find, get some clarity, and it really triggered my abandonment wound, which you know had me kind of trying to hold on to the relationship and fight for the relationship, which I thought is uh you know is a honorable thing to do, but um just it was more coming from a wounded place, not a healthy way to kind of do it. And after about four months of this emotional turmoil, um we would actually she would actually put up restraining order against me for emotional safety. Um I never did threaten her physically, but but emotionally it was just a disaster. And so she kind of put the restraining order on me at that point. I figured it's over, and we're gonna just kind of work through this. And I was gonna move back to Florida, which is where my friends and family are, and um let that be the end of it, you know. But uh as fate would have it, I was I had come across the attachment theory program and integrated attachment theory, which actually began to really make some sense, gave me a lot of answers, which ultimately would lead me to some healing and being able to kind of uh with little did I know it would actually provide a some foundation for us to eventually get back together and fix and repair the relationship that we had. And so uh we have a new you know relationship today, something that's a thousand times better. Um, but it did take some work, it did take some healing, it did take some time, uh, and it did take a lot of emotional struggle, and it did take hitting rock bottom, if you will, first, which was that restraining order and that time uh was was so crazy, so emotionally charged, so uh it was so hard to understand what was going on, to catch my breath, take the time to heal and put it all back together. Uh, it does take a little time and some work, but it can be done. And so I'm just hoping today that maybe what we can share today is some information that can help somebody at least begin to get some hope. You know, get some hope, get some understanding of maybe what's going on, and maybe even point you in the right direction as to begin to heal a little bit. Whether we can save a relationship or not, that that we never know. You know, that's always up in the air, but we can begin to do some work that puts us in a better position to at least have, at the very least, an amicable, a little bit more amicable divorce if it does go that route. Um, or again, the opportunity potentially to even bring it back together if that's possible.
Matthew Brickman:Right. So when you guys were going through your therapy, uh, you said about four months of therapy, were you guys living together during that time?
Bryan Power:Yeah, we were. Yeah. Yeah. She was trying to get some space, even asked me to move out a little bit, which I was looking for a place to kind of go, but I didn't have the you know, I didn't have the ability to kind of just pack up and get out of here real quick. And so I called a few friends, see if I could just, you know, you know, spend a little time on the couch for for a month or two. And I just didn't really have many connections up here. Nobody was really, you know, had the spot for me to kind of do that. And then, you know, time just progressed to the point where um, yeah, after a few months, yeah, I it just it it just kind of reached the emotional head, if you will. So I never did get the opportunity to move out before I was forced to move out, you know.
Matthew Brickman:Right. And did and and do you guys do you guys have kids? Like we're we're we're kids in the midst of this as well.
Bryan Power:Yeah, absolutely. So um I we I have a 14-year-old stepdaughter from her first marriage, but then we have a uh five and a half-year-old son together who at the time was about four and a half. And so my my son really was the catalyst that kept me here in Massachusetts because if if it wasn't for him, I really probably would have packed up and ran back to Florida and just kind of never really did the healing work, never really fixed anything. I would have just kind of ran away and just kind of thought nothing of it. But but because my son was here, I was challenged to stay and never abandon him, which I knew was the right thing to do. So I just knew that I had to fight to stay, and uh, and that was that was what kept me here in Massachusetts. And then in the meantime, I figured, well, I had already come across this integrated attachment theory program that I was fascinated by, and I saw a lot of answers there. So I just decided I was gonna keep doing the work regardless of kind of what happened between me and her. I just wanted to learn some tools that I could, you know, eventually have a great relationship with somebody, you know, so I just kept doing that.
Matthew Brickman:So that's interesting, uh, because with with my first wife, we had started to do some therapy and it just was not working. It seemed to create more issues, you know. As as issues came up, you know, if the two people are not on the same page to be like, let's work through our issues together, if it's like, well, I'll work through my issues, and she's like, Well, I'm not working through them, well, then we've got to disconnect them and we've got a problem. And so what happened was um I was starting to discover things about myself, and I'm like, well, that's interesting. That's that's why I'm that way. And and so I continued the therapy because just like you said, I figured, well, either I'm gonna become a better person in this relationship, or I'm gonna take these tools and I can hopefully be a better person in the next relationship. And so, you know, I really was, you know, interested in like, okay, well, who am I and what makes me tick? One of the things that I find fascinating so many times, like in mediation, is you've got two people that have no idea who they are, what makes them tick. Um, just like you said, like a lot of people may come in with father wounds, mother wounds, childhood wounds, abandonment wounds, you know, whatever. And they don't even understand. They think that their family of origin was normal and healthy until they get into a different family and they're like, wait a second, that's not healthy, that's not normal. But the first, the first thing I think people do, I know I did, was I got defensive. And when it's like, well, your family of origin was screwed up, I'm like, how dare you attack my family? We were normal. It's like, that is not normal. When I start to find out, wait a second, that's not so normal. Well, then I've got to figure that out. And so a lot of times in mediation, I find like like two people be like, Hi, I'm hi, I'm Matthew. And you're like, hi, I'm Brian. It's like, who are you? I have no idea. Well, who are you? I have no idea. Hey, you want to find out together? And then as you two people get together, they start to realize, you know what? I don't like that about you. Well, I don't like that about you either. And then it just starts to disintegrate, only because they never found out who they are. So with the attachment theory, where did, like you said, you came across it. Where did you find it? Where did you go to start to learn it? And is that now something that you're empowering others, teaching others? Like, talk to me about like how did you even find that and and tell me about it. I don't know anything about it.
Bryan Power:Yeah, so I actually uh I actually came across a really great video on YouTube with a woman named Thais Gibson, T-H-A-I-S Gibson. Um, she did a podcast on the Mel Robbins show, and Mel Robbins is out of Boston, and she really literally went through about an hour and 15 minute long uh podcast here explaining about the four different attachment styles. And at the end of that uh video, I was fascinated because I really saw my wife as a you know one particular attachment style, myself as a different attachment style, and and the differences in those two and why that was really beginning to cause some conflict. And so I was kind of like, wow, there's there's some real in, you know, there's there's some real answers here. You know, um at that point it was a little too little too late, though. Like like my it we were already kind of towards the end. There was about a month before I actually got thrown out of house, if you will. Um so but at the time I was like, wow, this is this is really fascinating. And it really opened up my eyes to how you know the subconscious was playing out and that a lot of our just our childhood wounds were actually being you know triggered and stuff, and that's how that's really what was causing the problems. It's not like my wife and I didn't love each other, it's not like we didn't want to make this work, we just didn't know emotionally why we're so messed up. We didn't know why we couldn't figure out how to have that connection that we desired so much. And so um, it just led us down this this path to destruction because without the answers, without the right tools, that house is gonna fall, if you will. And that's really what was happening is that this this thing was just falling apart because we didn't have the right tools, and now I saw something that actually provided some tools, which is why I got really excited about learning it.
Matthew Brickman:All right, so take us through it. Attachment theory.
Bryan Power:Well, yeah, the attachment theory. So, real quick, an attachment theory, there's four different attachment styles. Um, so there's four different number one is a secure attachment style. They they really are emotionally balanced, really know how to communicate better, know how to set some boundaries, really kind of uh really just have it together. Those are the ones that we all want to aspire to be like and kind of just more balanced. Again, they take a really healthy approach to relationships. If they do break up with somebody, you know, they might feel it a little bit, but they're not devastated, their life isn't over. They just kind of accept that maybe, hey, we weren't compatible, um, and that's just the way things work out. So uh they just do it right, and that's where we want to be. Unfortunately, for most of us, we tend to fall into one of the other three categories, which is number one, an anxious preoccupied. Anxious preoccupied. Um, like myself, I had a lot of uh abandonment wound, uh, a lot of fear of attack, uh, fear of being alone, um, you know, fear of uh not being good enough, a lot of different types of wounds that were being triggered, but they really crave uh relationships, and the relationships become very important. They they become like you know the number one thing in life, um, to the point where sometimes it's unhealthy. Uh they crave a lot of communication, uh maybe texting ten times a day, or you know, they may fall in love real quick. Maybe after a week or two, they're already in love, right? So, you know, they they already get married, already see the wedding balls going on. And uh so that's just a uh an anxious, preoccupied type of attachment style, but it becomes very, very unhealthy. Um on the flip side of that, you have a dismissive avoidant. They really have a hard time connecting to some of their emotions. Emotions are kind of bad, if you will. Um, if they do anything emotionally based, they're they're really isolate uh with their emotions. Um, they really don't like to talk about them as much. They're really kind of self-soothe, self-kind of, you know, you know, they'll go into their own little world, if you will, and and really detach from the person. Um they look for a lot of space, which again, really that's where my wife was, right? She was looking for a lot of space, trying to figure some things out. But it that triggered my anxious side. So now you can see where that could be really a big problem, right? If you have somebody who's dismissive and kind of you know sitting and wanting some space, and somebody else who really wants that connection, uh, that's really where a lot of these problems can arise from. Um, in between there is what's called a fearful avoidant, and a fearful avoidant really swings between both the anxious side and the dismissive side, uh, and really have trust issues, really have um you know different, you know, just again, a hard time connecting and being consistent um in that relationship and really can, again, one week they're feeling very connected and loving, but maybe the next week their their fear comes up subconsciously, and then now they're acting in ways that are you know maybe pulling away or even you know breaking up with you for no reason. So it just gets chaotic. And so, but these things, what I learned is they're all coming from basically uh subconscious wounds, and it's those subconscious wounds that are causing us to behave in this way. So even though consciously we may think we're one way, subconsciously we're acting in a totally different way, and that's what's destroying relationships. Uh, and until we learn what those behaviors are, those thought patterns are, we're gonna continue a lot of times in that same pattern over and over again. Even if we do break up with the person we're with today, we're gonna fall into a different relationship and that same pattern just continues. So until we heal those things, we just find ourselves in the same position over and over again. But that was the beginning of it. Um, learning the attachment styles was the first part. The second part, which I love Tys Gibson's work, is integrated attachment theory, which begins to heal us and begins to move us from the insecure attachment styles to the healthier attachment style, the secure side.
Matthew Brickman:Okay. It's interesting when you when you were mentioning that, because my wife and I, we've been together, oh my gosh, for for years and years. But when we first started dating, I was like, oh my gosh, she is everything that I'm looking for. Like checkbox, checkbox, checkbox, checkbox. And she was the same as well. But what was interesting was, you know, I got I sort of got overwhelmed. And like, and I'm a I'm a communicator, I'm very extroverted, she's extremely introverted, and um and there's also a 17-year age gap between us. She's 17 years older, and we both had, you know, it was blended families, we both had stuff, and so I got sort of overwhelmed, didn't know how to handle it, and out of the blue I broke up with. And she was like, What's going on? And I'm like, and I'm like, why are you getting so mad? And she's like, Because I love you, you know, and and I was like, But you know, but then like two weeks later, I'm like, oh my gosh, what did I do? And you know, and so I mean, luckily we have made it through uh years of a lot of different things and stuff. But when you were just mentioning that, like just out of the blue, yeah, you will break up. I'm like, yeah, I did that, yeah, you know, and and and and you know what, have no explanation for it. Like, I I did it, like, and so when you were mentioning that, I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, that might be like, you know, because I was, you know, now I came into it wanting the relationship attaching, but it was not from a hell, it was from a codependency. I didn't want to be alone, I was insecure. And she was she was coming in and going, look, I'm very strong, I'm not putting up with this, I'm not putting up with that. And you know, both very, you know, both of us very good communicators, but at the same time coming from different places and also needing different things, but wanting to be together, right? Just just like you were saying, you know, your wife and you like we like we love each other, we want to be together. And uh so yeah, as you're mentioning, I'm going, huh, yeah, checkbox, I've been there. Um so yeah, so that's that that's good. So so you guys, so did you guys start to do this together? Like, were you starting to then go through this process, the analyzation together? Was that something that you're like, look, uh, I got a restraining order, I got some time on my hands, so let me see what to do with it, and I'll I'll be productive with the time I've got. Like, how did that play out?
Bryan Power:Yeah, I mean, because because we because of the restraining order, we couldn't talk at all. So I uh I wasn't at that point, I also wasn't really thinking we would ever work through this. At that point, it was over, in my opinion. It was done. You know, she had told me how she'd never, you know, she'd never be happy with me and all this other stuff. She did everything to push me away, right? So at that point, I was like, okay, fair enough. Like, we're done. Um, but again, she continued on, she was really doing a lot of childhood trauma work. She had a specialist that was really getting into her childhood trauma, which really began to heal her tremendously. She got a lot of uh really good healing out of that. I was again on my own at that point. I I just was delved into the integrated attachment theory program with Tyce Gibson. Plus, I was doing my own therapy, so the combination began to give me some some healing. I began to move on, began to figure some things out and learn about myself and um get some answers. And then I was just so excited about what I was learning. I decided to take you know a coaching program uh through what Tyus Gibson offers as well as you know, the opportunity to maybe even be a coach and help others do the same. And so I just said, yeah, let's do it. I'd love to learn, if nothing else, learn about it for myself. And if I decide to want to coach other people through it, which I have decided to do, it's something that I love to do. I I love helping other people get through this stuff. Um I would just you know take that as part of what I was doing. So I just began to learn the program and do it on my own. It was it had nothing to do really with saving the relationship. It actually had more to do with letting it go. You know, I was doing everything I could to let the relationship go and just kind of heal and accept that you know it was kind of done, if you will, you know. But as I did that work, I I finally did get to that point where I was you know able to let it go. Um and really as I let it go, that's really when it began to come back around. But now because we both had some new tools, some new awarenesses, a lot more knowledge in our in our tool belts, if you will, um we began to have a different type of relationship when it did finally come around.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah. Well, and it's you know, the f what's what's popping in my head as as you're talking about that is like almost it's almost like any type of recovery. The first thing that they say is, okay, you know, admit that there's a problem. The second thing is let go, let God, right? Like you've got to let go. The more you try to hold it in your hand and squeeze it, you can actually squeeze the life out of it. And it's almost like you just sort of have to let go. And in that letting go, you can actually then start to find and heal and get that, you know, individually, but also relationally. But it really is just going, I just got to surrender and let go because the more I force, the more you're gonna push them away.
Bryan Power:Yeah, and it's and the truth is love, love lets go, right? Love is free, love is freeing. Like so we don't want to force somebody to be with us. We can't force them to choose with us to be with us, right? So we have to we have to emotionally let that go, accept that that other person has a life too, that whatever choices they need to have in their life. It is what it is, type of thing. Um, and then if they decide to choose us, then it's great, then it's beautiful, right? And now they're choosing us because they also want to be with us. They're not feeling the pressure to be with us, they're not feeling any type of wound, it's not we're not you know together because of a wounded spot. We're there because we simply love each other, have fun together, know how to work through problems, know how to you know communicate differently. Um, and now it becomes a fun, exciting type of adventure on a daily basis. It's not to say you never have problems, but you know how to get through those problems. And you know, you're not sitting in those problems, and and they don't become monstrous problems. They say little anthills, not you know, not not uh volcanoes here, right? So uh totally different experience, totally different from what um you know what I saw before. Before I would have said we had a pretty good relationship, but I didn't know any better. And now being on this side, I can say, wow, like as okay as that was, like, man, this is a whole lot different experience than what I'd ever seen before in my life because I had new tools. That's the key. New tools, new, new perspective, new ideas on how to do this stuff, you know?
Matthew Brickman:Yeah. Yeah. When you mention tools, a lot of times in mediation, you know, I tell people I'm like, look, you know, we're gonna create an agreement. I'm gonna give you tools so that you can work through issues. I said, you know. That you know, you you know, through your family of origin, you may have been given a toolbox, and who knows, you may have been given tools, you may not have been given tools. I said, you know, and so I always use the analogy. I'm like, can you build a house with a handle? Well, sure you could, but it'd be a funky looking house. It may not be the most secure, it's not gonna stand the test of time. It's like, you know what? Would you like to have some nails and a saw and a ruler and you know, measuring tapes? And what would you like to have these tools so that you can build a good, solid, secure home rather than all right, well, here's a couple of tools I have, and we're gonna do the best. And it's like, well, what do you have in your toolbox? Nothing, but I've got a sandwich. It's like you don't have any tools? No, no, no, no, but I've got a sandwich, like, and so yeah, I love the tool analogy. So so with so with your coaching, I mean, I I'm just thinking, man, this would be so healthy as like premarital, like before somebody gets married, you go through the attachment theory program and go through your coaching so that you can have those tools before you get on the other side of I do, right? Like you and your wife were on the other side of I do. And that could also be a good place, but like as a mediator, I'm always preventative maintenance than damage control. And so I'm like, okay, where could we give people tools before the problems arise so they can work through them rather than here's the tools looking back going, oh, we could have saved ourselves so much heartache and headache and problems. So with your coaching, how does that work?
Bryan Power:Yeah, I mean, optimally, uh, this stuff would be taught in you know in school, right? As we grow up, right? But imagine they taught this in in in junior high school or high school, right? So we knew how to have relationships before we really started getting into them. Um, yeah, you could save a lot of heartbreak, a lot of problems, a lot of chaos, and all this other stuff for sure. Um, yes, it's always best to do this before you get into a relationship, if possible. Unfortunately, a lot of us get into it, and that's how we start to see that there's a problem and that we have issues. And so unfortunately, to the point where it it even fails. And that's why I call my practice make your relationship fail. And that's my website, makeyourrelelationship fail.com, right? So why does it take failure? Unfortunately, it's sometimes that's the wake-up call. It gets so severe, it gets so painful. Um, and that, and that through that pain, through that hurt, sometimes that's where we have the chance to look at ourselves and say, okay, wait a second, what am I doing wrong here? How did I help cause this? Because it's really never one person, it's two-sided. Yeah. Um, and so I have to look at how am I showing up in this relationship? Am I communicating properly? Am I, you know, am I you know too needy or maybe not connecting enough with emotion or any of this stuff? Where am I going wrong on this? And so through that experience of pain and and hurt in that situation, um, we can then learn and take that and make it a great thing. I always say they call it a breakup, not a breakdown. So we're gonna break up, we're gonna use this time to you know level up through this break, if you will. And uh, and the way we do that is to is to learn from it. And so long as we learn from the pain, learn from this experience, it's okay. That's where we're supposed to be. We're supposed to be at that point learning and growing and changing so that we never have to get back to Matthew's office again. We don't want to be in that mediation if if we can avoid it, right? We want to make sure that we know how to have a good relationship in the future. And sometimes it it can't even be, like I said, your spouse coming back to you, and you can work through those problems, you know.
Matthew Brickman:And that's where I guess um I think I read on your on your website where you talk about you know, sometimes your greatest failures then can lead to your greatest successes, right? Yeah, like you've got a uh what did you say? You said you have to fail to learn.
Bryan Power:Yeah, yeah, I believe that. I believe that sometimes we just have to fail to learn, right? And and it's okay. Failure is okay. I call failure the new F-word. It's uh it's like it's okay to fail. Um again, so long as we're learning. And I always think of Thomas Edison, right, who, you know, you know, 10,000 tries to make the light bulb, and and people would laugh at him, like, what are you doing? Why don't you give up? He goes, No, I'm learning. Every time I fail, I'm learning how what not to do. And so through that process of just continuing to push through it, push through it, he he figured out how to create the light bulb, and now here we have light bulbs all over the place. But imagine we gave up just because we failed. No, failure, unfortunately, especially if you came through some really difficult childhoods. You know, my wife and I came through some really broken homes, you know, type of craziness. Um, but even if you come from a good home sometimes, we still grow up with trauma. We still grow up with a perspective sometimes that is causing our our our our the way we're viewing things, is causing the emotional triggers and the and the way we're behaving that we don't even realize we're doing it sometimes. That's what's causing the problems. And and so that's why it's just it's so important that we get this healing time and begin to work on that so that we can level up from this, even if it has reached that critical stage of a breakup mediation, you're headed towards divorce, all this other stuff. Um, if nothing else, we're gonna heal ourselves so that we can get emotionally stable, we can feel better about the direction we're going in. And um if if it like I said in the beginning, if it does end divorce, you know, then then at least maybe we can learn how to see the other side and we can maybe even get some respect back and and kind of like work through that a little bit, uh more on a on a cerebral sense, not the emotional triggers and not the subconscious wounds, if you will, causing the problems and and and now especially if you got a parent together, um you know, if it does go through divorce and stuff like that, if you got to get to the side, you want to get to a point where it's it as healthy as possible for everybody around you. But um, I always say it's not our problem that we have these issues. A lot of times we grow up in these weird families and we kind of gain these you know perspectives that are unhealthy. It's not necessarily our fault that that we have those, but it is our responsibility to fix them now.
Matthew Brickman:So yeah, yeah. And and so is is this something like like when you're coaching, is this something that is done in conjunction with say a therapist in someone's therapy, or is this in place of or Yeah, no, I I I say whatever working for somebody.
Bryan Power:So it's some some people may some people may just do this program, or you may work it in conjunction with a therapist, like I was, I was doing a therapy as well as this. Um, whatever works, you know. I at that point, I the thing I loved about you know having a therapist was somebody I could talk to and kind of run some stuff by and got some really good stuff from her, but I also had a program that I could go to uh on online that number one was at my fingertips at any time. It also offered six different uh pillars that I really loved to focus on. And those six pillars allowed me some structure that that said, okay, wait a second, if I can work on number one, number two, number three, I could work on those six, if you will. I was moving in the right direction towards having those tools. And that's what I loved about that that program is the six pillars gave me something to really focus on and gave me some different perspective on on how to do this and gave me some tools to kind of really apply. But yeah, no, working in conjunction with therapy, working in conjunction on your own, depends where you are and where you know where you are in your life and the severity that you're dealing with. Find what works. That's that's the key. I would say just find what works because you know, move the needle. If therapy alone is moving the needle, you're happy with that, fine. But if if not, I feel like this is a really great program to add in conjunction with uh your therapist as well, for sure.
Sydney Mitchell:If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info at iChatmediation.com. That's info at iChat ICHAT mediation.com. And stay tuned to hear your shout-out and have your question answered here on the show.
Matthew Brickman:For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChatMediation virtual platform built by Cisco Communications, visit me online at imediating.com. Call me at 561-262-9121, toll free at 877-822-1479, or email me at M Brickman at iChatMediation.com.